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  1. Wow. Just rewatched because I was in and out yesterday for phone calls… Im glad I went back because this really bubbles up my own escapism and my own subconscious coping mechanisms.. My plants are my porn. My attention goes to my son my house my pets and my plants.. I use these as excuses to avoid intimate connections. I lie to myself by telling myself I dont have the attention to give another person. And I see in myself that when i am trying to avoid anything in my life i spend time with my plants. I break plans to go be with my plants.. I avoid friendships on the lie that i dont have the attention to give.. But then I give my attention to my plants.. Anytime in my life when I need to escape i give my plants my attention and avoid everything else.. Even joining dojo took me almost a year because I kept telling myself I didnt have the attention to give.. And that obviously was a big lie!.. I have learned more about myself in this beautiful space with you all then i think i have in the last decade!! Thank you everyone who shared yesterday 💚

      1. The real moments when souls touch as I see it and something you need to hear is presented directly to you happened to me with your witness about spanking the monkey. While frequent ejaculation does diminish prostate cancer by 33% according to one study, I’m sure I maxed out my quota in the 80’s. It’s not a right and wrong thing like we can be so prone to reason or logic to justify an addiction. I need to trust my heart or inner bell on most things and not create a fucking listography of why it’s ok. It’s like I’m at a cruising altitude with custom climate control and a frothy espresso and that’s great but I may still have decades to connect with someone and maybe make up for some lost time so to speak. I’m admitting abstinence from porn in a semi public forum because it is embarrassing and the only way it will be accomplished. Great to finally interact with you Ties.